I'm not new to the online "dating" scene but I still find the way people conduct themselves online a little odd at times. Is it because we are hiding behind our screens that makes us act differently or the fact we can stay relatively anonymous? (Actually, for the record, I try to say it as it is rather than pretend to be someone/something else - too much like hard work!!)
Just a few of the things that strike me as odd (and not just from this site) are:
- being added as a buddy or favourite by someone who has made no attempt to contact you - a bit like having a cyber stalker especially when they are nowhere near being a match
- the smiles/winks/emails from people the other side of the world who are also miles away in terms of any other areas of compatibility
- getting a smile/wink from someone with the minimum possible on their profile .... creepy!
- the desire to talk way too freely about personal and sexual issues in an open forum - doesn't that make you feel like public property?
- the emails just saying "hello" - hardly a great conversation starter
- the IM/PMs that go straight for the sexual tone "are you naughty do you have a toy" without as much as a hello are you free to chat .... bet they wouldn't be that forward in a pub!
So are there any similar puzzling experiences or am I just being old fashioned?!
I'm not new to the online "dating" scene but I still find the way people conduct themselves online a little odd at times. Is it because we are hiding behind our screens that makes us act differently or the fact we can stay relatively anonymous? (Actually, for the record, I try to say it as it is rather than pretend to be someone/something else - too much like hard work!!)
Just a few of the things that strike me as odd (and not just from this site) are:
- being added as a buddy or favourite by someone who has made no attempt to contact you - a bit like having a cyber stalker especially when they are nowhere near being a match
- the smiles/winks/emails from people the other side of the world who are also miles away in terms of any other areas of compatibility
- getting a smile/wink from someone with the minimum possible on their profile .... creepy!
- the desire to talk way too freely about personal and sexual issues in an open forum - doesn't that make you feel like public property?
- the emails just saying "hello" - hardly a great conversation starter
- the IM/PMs that go straight for the sexual tone "are you naughty do you have a toy" without as much as a hello are you free to chat .... bet they wouldn't be that forward in a pub!
So are there any similar puzzling experiences or am I just being old fashioned?!
I've just had an email from someone on here saying how wonderful I am, how we could be best of friends, how age isn't important to him, promising me the world .....
Their profile is hidden (and they haven't revealed it when I asked), they haven't mentioned their age or location (or whether they are actually single which due to the above, I doubt!)
Why do they waste their time? Did he think he was going to get anything other than "sling yer hook!" from me?!! Lol
I've just had an email from someone on here saying how wonderful I am, how we could be best of friends, how age isn't important to him, promising me the world .....
Their profile is hidden (and they haven't revealed it when I asked), they haven't mentioned their age or location (or whether they are actually single which due to the above, I doubt!)
Why do they waste their time? Did he think he was going to get anything other than "sling yer hook!" from me?!! Lol
I am really discouraged by the complete lack of sense by these creeps. I just bet they don't treat their mother's, daughter's or bosses in the same disgraceful ways. This probably is a feeding ground for the anti-social types. I am still optimistic that real men do exist and that they are looking for a quality woman. However.......... are there any older gentlemen looking? Sure hope so. And you creeps just leave us alone!
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
I am really discouraged by the complete lack of sense by these creeps. I just bet they don't treat their mother's, daughter's or bosses in the same disgraceful ways. This probably is a feeding ground for the anti-social types. I am still optimistic that real men do exist and that they are looking for a quality woman. However.......... are there any older gentlemen looking? Sure hope so. And you creeps just leave us alone!
Couldn't agree more islandgal. Especially the winks from guys who have no real information on their profiles. How can you decide if you have anything in common when there is nothing there. So creepy.........
Couldn't agree more islandgal. Especially the winks from guys who have no real information on their profiles. How can you decide if you have anything in common when there is nothing there. So creepy.........
Well I try to be myself, whats the point otherwise? Though I do agree that it is easier to be bolder than you would be in front of someone.
Thats not to say that I would not say anything that I have said here, one the blogs. I guess it depends on the company I'm with.
Maybe because you are behind the security of a computer it gives you the opportunity to actually be more who you are without reservations that you might have otherwise??
I know that if I met someone in RL that I click with and feel instantly comfortable with, then I would be just like I am on here.
Well I try to be myself, whats the point otherwise? Though I do agree that it is easier to be bolder than you would be in front of someone.
Thats not to say that I would not say anything that I have said here, one the blogs. I guess it depends on the company I'm with.
Maybe because you are behind the security of a computer it gives you the opportunity to actually be more who you are without reservations that you might have otherwise??
I know that if I met someone in RL that I click with and feel instantly comfortable with, then I would be just like I am on here.
No, you're not old-fashioned. Some of these people are just PERV-O's! I, like you and so many of the women on here, am serious about what I am looking for in a mate. Many come to this site just to "sight-see". Unfortunately, the "tourists" like to send winks, even though they have no investments in the area, so to speak. I find it frustrating, too. However, I take the good with the bad, and I only respond to winks I am interested in. Those with disgusting usernames, who send very "forward" messages or who choose those stupid pre-made winks like "I love you" get absolutely no time from me. It's not worth my effort to respond to the idiots. --True
No, you're not old-fashioned. Some of these people are just PERV-O's! I, like you and so many of the women on here, am serious about what I am looking for in a mate. Many come to this site just to "sight-see". Unfortunately, the "tourists" like to send winks, even though they have no investments in the area, so to speak. I find it frustrating, too. However, I take the good with the bad, and I only respond to winks I am interested in. Those with disgusting usernames, who send very "forward" messages or who choose those stupid pre-made winks like "I love you" get absolutely no time from me. It's not worth my effort to respond to the idiots. --True
It's very easy to be brave and cocky when you don't expect to meet the person and you're chatting to a computer. I tend to be myself - a little mixture of both. I normally won't put in writing what I wouldn't normally say in conversation - if asked at the right time. I think adding someone as a favourite but not winking or blogging with them/to them is a waste of time as you're too shy for me then. It's all about your own standards for acceptance but I do think online is more open and free but it doesn't mean it's ok for all. As for the people - guys and gals who im and start off with innuendo's - call the 1 800 lines.
It's very easy to be brave and cocky when you don't expect to meet the person and you're chatting to a computer. I tend to be myself - a little mixture of both. I normally won't put in writing what I wouldn't normally say in conversation - if asked at the right time. I think adding someone as a favourite but not winking or blogging with them/to them is a waste of time as you're too shy for me then. It's all about your own standards for acceptance but I do think online is more open and free but it doesn't mean it's ok for all. As for the people - guys and gals who im and start off with innuendo's - call the 1 800 lines.
I think that it is maybe, apart from the guidelines on the site, we, as individuals all have our rules and boundaries regarding the dating site etiquette. As very much a "newbie", this being my first site, it took me a while to figure out what the "etiquette" was?
I have been added as a favourite with no previous contact and if there is enough on the profile, that i like, I have tried to initiate contact, only to have my message completely ignored! What is that about? As for winks, I think I have read on the blogs that some peoples interpretation of them is a sort of wolf whistle? they are nice to see, a bit of an ego boost and I never mind if they are near or far. I did join, in the hope that my soul mate may be on here but am also very open to making on line friends, male or female and I think it is about the on line friendships, that do tend to make you open up and discuss intimacies, after being around the blogs a while you sort of feel its ok...and as it is more public, to me it feels safer sharing that on the blogs than it would a in one to one conversation. Like you, I am what I am and what you read is me, I normally come up with some quick response and when reading it later think "why did I say that? Why did i post that?" but as its an immediate reaction and an instant thought, up it goes!
The Ims I am very wary of, some of the guys have the nerve to think I am an unpaid phone sex line, if I suss thats what it is about they get given a number to ring (premier rate of course) I dont want to be taking anyones work away from them lol!
It isn't about being thought of as "old fashioned", it is just about being yourself and hopefully all of this represents what and who we are....but as some of us have learnt......some things are never quite what they seem?
I think that it is maybe, apart from the guidelines on the site, we, as individuals all have our rules and boundaries regarding the dating site etiquette. As very much a "newbie", this being my first site, it took me a while to figure out what the "etiquette" was?
I have been added as a favourite with no previous contact and if there is enough on the profile, that i like, I have tried to initiate contact, only to have my message completely ignored! What is that about? As for winks, I think I have read on the blogs that some peoples interpretation of them is a sort of wolf whistle? they are nice to see, a bit of an ego boost and I never mind if they are near or far. I did join, in the hope that my soul mate may be on here but am also very open to making on line friends, male or female and I think it is about the on line friendships, that do tend to make you open up and discuss intimacies, after being around the blogs a while you sort of feel its ok...and as it is more public, to me it feels safer sharing that on the blogs than it would a in one to one conversation. Like you, I am what I am and what you read is me, I normally come up with some quick response and when reading it later think "why did I say that? Why did i post that?" but as its an immediate reaction and an instant thought, up it goes!
The Ims I am very wary of, some of the guys have the nerve to think I am an unpaid phone sex line, if I suss thats what it is about they get given a number to ring (premier rate of course) I dont want to be taking anyones work away from them lol!
It isn't about being thought of as "old fashioned", it is just about being yourself and hopefully all of this represents what and who we are....but as some of us have learnt......some things are never quite what they seem?
No, you have it right, with exception to speaking freely of personal issues on a public forum. (Maybe I am the only one who goes into that depth too far on occasion lol) but referring to questions regarding sex or preferences and such, it's just another way to get to know each other and be a little carefree about ourselves. Yes, maybe that has something to do with being behind a computer screen instead of meeting in a pub for some people, but I feel that I, at least, haven't said anything on these blogs that I wouldn't say at an LF get together with any of you in attendance.
As for the rest, yes, I totally understand your complaints. It's more than ridiculous that one can not even log on without getting bombarded with a PM asking if you have a cam or how many sex toys one's got in one's closet.
Favorites though, I think some people add you because they are surfing profiles and think that you are someone they would like to keep up with... then time slips or that can't figure out how to use the site and they never make contact.
just my .02
No, you have it right, with exception to speaking freely of personal issues on a public forum. (Maybe I am the only one who goes into that depth too far on occasion lol) but referring to questions regarding sex or preferences and such, it's just another way to get to know each other and be a little carefree about ourselves. Yes, maybe that has something to do with being behind a computer screen instead of meeting in a pub for some people, but I feel that I, at least, haven't said anything on these blogs that I wouldn't say at an LF get together with any of you in attendance.
As for the rest, yes, I totally understand your complaints. It's more than ridiculous that one can not even log on without getting bombarded with a PM asking if you have a cam or how many sex toys one's got in one's closet.
Favorites though, I think some people add you because they are surfing profiles and think that you are someone they would like to keep up with... then time slips or that can't figure out how to use the site and they never make contact.
