We know that opposites attract. We can be drawn to those that have qualities that we dont have or wish we had.
Now I'm not talking about the physical side of things more on personality, habits and interests.
For example one person is quite and shy and their partner is very social and vocal. Or one is more of an intellectual type and their partner does not know the front end of a book.
Now what I was wondering if those qualities that first attracted you, eventually annoy you?
Who has b more...
We know that opposites attract. We can be drawn to those that have qualities that we dont have or wish we had.
Now I'm not talking about the physical side of things more on personality, habits and interests.
For example one person is quite and shy and their partner is very social and vocal. Or one is more of an intellectual type and their partner does not know the front end of a book.
Now what I was wondering if those qualities that first attracted you, eventually annoy you?
Who has been in relationships like this, did this become a problem?
Can this be overcome or should we be looking for someone that is nearly a mirror image of ourselves? less...
Well having read this blog again I have to say that I have realized something really important.
Thanks all of you for adding your viewpoints here, it really has helped. Love you all. xxxx
Most of the situations that I have mentioned here were from relationships that I have had years ago, when I was a different person in a different state of mind.
I think then I was more inclined to change myself too much to accommodate/please my partner. So at the start of the relationship I think I wou more...
Well having read this blog again I have to say that I have realized something really important.
Thanks all of you for adding your viewpoints here, it really has helped. Love you all. xxxx
Most of the situations that I have mentioned here were from relationships that I have had years ago, when I was a different person in a different state of mind.
I think then I was more inclined to change myself too much to accommodate/please my partner. So at the start of the relationship I think I would just hope things would change instead of saying something about it.
Reminds me of my 6 year old son who just recently has realized what jokes are and that you can get a reaction from people.
After hearing his latest joke for the 5th time, and I laughed each time, I had to stop and wonder if I was really doing the right thing by him?
Despite the fact that he might have hurt feelings for a while, I did have to tell him that the joke was only funny the first time he told it. less...
Having read all your comments on here I would have to say I think maybe the problem is perspective. Maybe you aren't seeing things in your partner clearly enough from the get-go. Take the jokester...
Yes Bluegirl, thanks I think that perceptive is defiantly part of it.
Guess I have to look at the whole picture of who my partner is and all the qualities he has to offer.
The shy guy I mention would get shy to the point of rudeness (in my op more...
Quoting: Originally posted by bluegirl2006
Having read all your comments on here I would have to say I think maybe the problem is perspective. Maybe you aren't seeing things in your partner clearly enough from the get-go. Take the jokester - can he be serious? This is something you need to learn early on. The sarcastic wit - can he be empathetic? Can you have a conversation without sarcasm? Your shy friend - I'm not sure why you found that embarassing... I guess it was important to you that he be outgoing/sociable. I think there would be a big difference between whether he was just affably quiet in a group setting or if he was sullenly quiet.
But the thing is you can't expect to change your partner's personality traits (or ask them to change for you) no matter how much they love you. If it is only a behavior you want them to change I think it would depend if that behavior is inherent to the person. Something like leaving the toilet seat up or the cap off the toothpaste is a behavior that could probably be changed. Something like hiding behind sarcasm/jokes, or being shy are not likely to be changeable. That is why it is important that you take the time to get to know your partner before jumping willy-nilly into a relationship/love. You need to decide if you can love them just as they are. If you can't you need to let them go.
Yes Bluegirl, thanks I think that perceptive is defiantly part of it.
Guess I have to look at the whole picture of who my partner is and all the qualities he has to offer.
The shy guy I mention would get shy to the point of rudeness (in my opinion) and that would embarrass me.
I dont want to change my partner, especially if these qualities were originally part of the attraction. Guess I just wanted to see how I could handle it if they turned into an annoyance. less...
Since when? If i'm wrong, i'm wrong, but was taught at school/told it was ying & yang.
Apart from the obvious,it's to do with a Chinese myth about twins too...aint it?
Sometimes it's called Tai-Chi symbol. The Tai-Chi is from I-Ching. The I-Ching is the greatest foundation of Chinese philosophy. It?s development is from the natural phenomena of our universe.
When observing the cycle of the Sun, ancient Chinese simply used a pole about 8 fe more...
Quoting: Originally posted by ariesram
Since when? If i'm wrong, i'm wrong, but was taught at school/told it was ying & yang.
Apart from the obvious,it's to do with a Chinese myth about twins too...aint it?
Sometimes it's called Tai-Chi symbol. The Tai-Chi is from I-Ching. The I-Ching is the greatest foundation of Chinese philosophy. It?s development is from the natural phenomena of our universe.
When observing the cycle of the Sun, ancient Chinese simply used a pole about 8 feet long, posted at right angles to the ground and recorded positions of the shadow. Then they found the length of a year is around 365.25 days. They even divided the year's cycle into 24 Segments, including the Vernal Equinox, Autumnal Equinox, Summer Solstice and Winter Solstice, using the sunrise and Dipper positions.
They used six concentric circles (see chart below), marked the 24-Segment points, divided the circles into 24 sectors and recorded the length of shadow every day. The shortest shadow is found on the day of Summer Solstice. The longest shadow is found on the day of Winter Solstice. After connecting each lines and dimming Yin Part from Summer Solstice to Winter Solstice, the Sun chart looks like below. The ecliptic angle 23 26' 19'' of the Earth can be seen in this chart.
In general, the Yin Yang symbol is a Chinese representation of the entire celestial phenomenon. It contains the cycle of Sun, four seasons, 24-Segment Chi, the foundation of the I-Ching and the Chinese calendar.
... and so concludes your lesson for the day. Thank you for behaving yourself. :0P less...
Since when? If i'm wrong, i'm wrong, but was taught at school/told it was ying & yang.
Apart from the obvious,it's to do with a Chinese myth about twins too...aint it?
Since when? If i'm wrong, i'm wrong, but was taught at school/told it was ying & yang.
Apart from the obvious,it's to do with a Chinese myth about twins too...aint it?
Don't believe me? Just Google it ......
In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang (simplified Chinese: ????; traditional Chinese: ????; pinyin: y??ny??ng) are generalized descriptions of the antitheses or mutual correlations in human perceptions of phenomena in the natural world, co more...
Quoting: Originally posted by ariesram
Since when? If i'm wrong, i'm wrong, but was taught at school/told it was ying & yang.
Apart from the obvious,it's to do with a Chinese myth about twins too...aint it?
Don't believe me? Just Google it ......
In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang (simplified Chinese: ????; traditional Chinese: ????; pinyin: y??ny??ng) are generalized descriptions of the antitheses or mutual correlations in human perceptions of phenomena in the natural world, combining to create a unity of opposites in the theory of the Taiji. The term liang yi (simplified Chinese: ????; traditional Chinese: ???x; pinyin: li??ngy??, lit. "two mutually correlated opposites"), also known as Yin and Yang less...
Quoting: Originally posted by ozredhead62 Want to thank all of you so much for adding your thoughts. Many a wise word have been said here.
Though I have to say that I still do not have an answer to some of my questions...now maybe I wasn'...
Having read all your comments on here I would have to say I think maybe the problem is perspective. Maybe you aren't seeing things in your partner clearly enough from the get-go. Take the jokester - can he be serious? This is something you need to l more...
Quoting: Originally posted by ozredhead62 Want to thank all of you so much for adding your thoughts. Many a wise word have been said here.
Though I have to say that I still do not have an answer to some of my questions...now maybe I wasn't clear enough with it in the first place. he he
OK, so you have met the person of your dreams, you think. One of the things that attracted you was that, for example, they loved to help show you how to do something/learn new things. In the beginning this is rather attractive to you, you felt your partner cared, wants to spend time with you and was interested in you. You genuinely like this about him/her.
Now take it down the track maybe 6 months or years, and now you feel different. Your partner who still does the same things now irritates you. You feel that they are always trying to correct you, maybe change you or even make you appear stupid. What once was such an endearing quality has turned onto your mini nightmare.
OK you guys still with me??? he he
So what do you do now? Do you ask for your partner to stop doing this though you may have loved them for it at the start? Can they stop it if this is who they are?
Are there any warning signs that you should have seen to alert you to this right at the start?
Can you stop it from getting to the point of "I cant take anymore of this"? If so how?
Having read all your comments on here I would have to say I think maybe the problem is perspective. Maybe you aren't seeing things in your partner clearly enough from the get-go. Take the jokester - can he be serious? This is something you need to learn early on. The sarcastic wit - can he be empathetic? Can you have a conversation without sarcasm? Your shy friend - I'm not sure why you found that embarassing... I guess it was important to you that he be outgoing/sociable. I think there would be a big difference between whether he was just affably quiet in a group setting or if he was sullenly quiet.
But the thing is you can't expect to change your partner's personality traits (or ask them to change for you) no matter how much they love you. If it is only a behavior you want them to change I think it would depend if that behavior is inherent to the person. Something like leaving the toilet seat up or the cap off the toothpaste is a behavior that could probably be changed. Something like hiding behind sarcasm/jokes, or being shy are not likely to be changeable. That is why it is important that you take the time to get to know your partner before jumping willy-nilly into a relationship/love. You need to decide if you can love them just as they are. If you can't you need to let them go. less...
Want to thank all of you so much for adding your thoughts. Many a wise word have been said here.
Though I have to say that I still do not have an answer to some of my questions...now maybe I wasn't clear enough with it in the first place. he he
OK, so you have met the person of your dreams, you think. One of the things that attracted you was that, for example, they loved to help show you how to do something/learn new things. In the beginning this is rather attractive to you, you felt you more...
Want to thank all of you so much for adding your thoughts. Many a wise word have been said here.
Though I have to say that I still do not have an answer to some of my questions...now maybe I wasn't clear enough with it in the first place. he he
OK, so you have met the person of your dreams, you think. One of the things that attracted you was that, for example, they loved to help show you how to do something/learn new things. In the beginning this is rather attractive to you, you felt your partner cared, wants to spend time with you and was interested in you. You genuinely like this about him/her.
Now take it down the track maybe 6 months or years, and now you feel different. Your partner who still does the same things now irritates you. You feel that they are always trying to correct you, maybe change you or even make you appear stupid. What once was such an endearing quality has turned onto your mini nightmare.
OK you guys still with me??? he he
So what do you do now? Do you ask for your partner to stop doing this though you may have loved them for it at the start? Can they stop it if this is who they are?
Are there any warning signs that you should have seen to alert you to this right at the start?
Can you stop it from getting to the point of "I cant take anymore of this"? If so how? less...
Quoting: Originally posted by one2one My profile has a comment on it that says, "I don't need you to be just like me. I think the differences people bring to relationships can enhance them as much as the similarities." and it's the...
Well can see why you got hot as hades, need someone to come bait my hook too. he he xx
I do appreciate and enjoy those differences and similarities that make us so unique. For most part they can be things that I would embrace if not celebrate as more...
Quoting: Originally posted by one2one My profile has a comment on it that says, "I don't need you to be just like me. I think the differences people bring to relationships can enhance them as much as the similarities." and it's there for a very specific reason.
Sometimes, the differences in someone else become the gifts that are the most endearing. A love of books might lead to reading erotic fiction to each other at night in bed. Quiet can help temper vocal and vocal can draw out and give voice to the still waters that run deep through quiet hours.
Yin and yang dance. Always. It is as mysterious as attraction ... or love itself. There are so many little pieces that draw people together and become the building blocks of a relationship. It is less a question of 'what' and more about adding them all up (over time) and seeing if it is enough.
I had no idea my heart could do a back flip until I saw my first real boyfriend go under the hood of my old '73 Pontiac Catalina with my dad one day to try and get it running again. And who knew a man in a pair of faded camo pants and a snug white t-shirt, in a rented boat on a beautiful early summer day, could make me hot as hades and happy to go fishing for hours, just by baiting my hook and looking all protective and manly while doing it. I didn't ... but I do now.
Be open to unexpected gifts ... and the possibility they might be entirely different than what you imagined.
Well can see why you got hot as hades, need someone to come bait my hook too. he he xx
I do appreciate and enjoy those differences and similarities that make us so unique. For most part they can be things that I would embrace if not celebrate as being a gift to compliment and enrich my life.
Attraction I know can be unpredictable as the weather (well the weather here in OZ at least). What makes one attracted one person above another who may hold similar qualities??
Life can bring many gifts for one to enjoy if one can see, but I do still feel that some things that we originally thought as a gift can turn into one of our nightmares. less...
Quoting: Originally posted by bluegirl2006 I don't think you need to be mirror images, although it helps to have very similar morals/values and understanding of priorities.
My fiance and I do share basic morals/values and priorities. We a...
Well agree that without similar morals and values the relationship would fall apart anyway in the long run.
As for priorities well that may be just the key to the answer I'm seeking here.
Now if both partners have as a priority, the desire t more...
Quoting: Originally posted by bluegirl2006 I don't think you need to be mirror images, although it helps to have very similar morals/values and understanding of priorities.
My fiance and I do share basic morals/values and priorities. We also have (I think so anyway) similar levels of intelligence, but where I read books, he reads magazines and websites (he stays well informed that way), he is very outgoing where I'm a bit shy (I can fake it when I need to but...), he is very patient, where I have NO patience at all, he makes me laugh and I am sooooo not funny (or so my kids keep telling me, lol). But I think these things compliment each other and so we do well together.
Well agree that without similar morals and values the relationship would fall apart anyway in the long run.
As for priorities well that may be just the key to the answer I'm seeking here.
Now if both partners have as a priority, the desire to make the other happy and not to do something that will cause pain or discomfort.
Then I would think you would not have to ask them to change, they themselves would be aware, and adjust their behavior accordingly??
Mmmmm I will have to ponder this some more. xxx less...
I think It is a balanceing act to find some one who meshes with your personality , yet allows you to grow and not to overwhelm you, to be there when you ned them to be but yet allow you time to yourself. It is a mater of balance. The far eastern cultures have two words for it Ying and Yang. Simply meaning the two haves make a compleate harmonious whole yet neither over powers the other
My profile has a comment on it that says, "I don't need you to be just like me. I think the differences people bring to relationships can enhance them as much as the similarities." and it's there for a very specific reason.
Sometimes, the differences in someone else become the gifts that are the most endearing. A love of books might lead to reading erotic fiction to each other at night in bed. Quiet can help temper vocal and vocal can draw out and give voice to the still waters t more...
My profile has a comment on it that says, "I don't need you to be just like me. I think the differences people bring to relationships can enhance them as much as the similarities." and it's there for a very specific reason.
Sometimes, the differences in someone else become the gifts that are the most endearing. A love of books might lead to reading erotic fiction to each other at night in bed. Quiet can help temper vocal and vocal can draw out and give voice to the still waters that run deep through quiet hours.
Yin and yang dance. Always. It is as mysterious as attraction ... or love itself. There are so many little pieces that draw people together and become the building blocks of a relationship. It is less a question of 'what' and more about adding them all up (over time) and seeing if it is enough.
I had no idea my heart could do a back flip until I saw my first real boyfriend go under the hood of my old '73 Pontiac Catalina with my dad one day to try and get it running again. And who knew a man in a pair of faded camo pants and a snug white t-shirt, in a rented boat on a beautiful early summer day, could make me hot as hades and happy to go fishing for hours, just by baiting my hook and looking all protective and manly while doing it. I didn't ... but I do now.
Be open to unexpected gifts ... and the possibility they might be entirely different than what you imagined. less...
Quoting: Originally posted by VegasAngel76 Hello firey love goddess !( one of my many new pet names for you ; ) )
I like this topic. In the past I had a certain type of man that I wanted to see myself with. I sought out men who were reall...
Well Vegas I do hope it works for you. xxx
I think there is more to it than just finding the opposite of you.
Year ago went out with a shy quite type, not so much with me but in other company.
At first this was great, loved it, it gave me more...
Quoting: Originally posted by VegasAngel76 Hello firey love goddess !( one of my many new pet names for you ; ) )
I like this topic. In the past I had a certain type of man that I wanted to see myself with. I sought out men who were really talkative and emotionally connected, very outgoing and super attentive. That would be compatible with my personality. In my opinion a man who had all of those personality traits working for him was someone that I could see myself building a substantial relationship with and future. However, after 7 years of my life with men that fit that bill, I was left going in a different direction. So, I found out that just because a man calls every night or wants to hang out often does not necessarily mean he is wanting what I want.
So I read my horoscope about 3 months ago and it made me chuckle and ponder. It said " To show the universe you are serious, it is time to go a different direction and to get there you will have to look for the opposite of what you may have sought " So, Ozzy is talking about opposites attract, and before I would always try to fine someone who is like me. Now I think that the opposite might work better. Who knows, I might fine the love of my life in a man who is shy, not talkative and very independent !
Well Vegas I do hope it works for you. xxx
I think there is more to it than just finding the opposite of you.
Year ago went out with a shy quite type, not so much with me but in other company.
At first this was great, loved it, it gave me all the stage....hey I'm a Leo, cant help it he he
Then after a while it started to embarrass me. If we had friends over, even if he liked them, he was still very quite and reserved.
Now I dont know why, and maybe he withdrew more , as I became more extroverted to handle the situation ? (mmmm Gee you learn things writing these blogs he he)
Anyway we did not part because of this, but I did so feel like this was something I would have liked to change about him. less...
Quoting: Originally posted by AmuseMe Depends on how much of this "annoyance" an individual can put up with. I was once drawn to a man via his sarcasm and wit, but after a time of knowing eachother, it did become overpowering, until I came to terms with the fact that he's not going to stop being himself for me. So, how much can you put up with? That's the REAL question.
Oh understand that one AmuseMe, had one of those relationships as well.
Quoting: Originally posted by AmuseMe Depends on how much of this "annoyance" an individual can put up with. I was once drawn to a man via his sarcasm and wit, but after a time of knowing eachother, it did become overpowering, until I came to terms with the fact that he's not going to stop being himself for me. So, how much can you put up with? That's the REAL question.
Oh understand that one AmuseMe, had one of those relationships as well.
Its was very charming and interesting to begin with but when his sarcasm turned my way it did not seem so witty anymore.
I know people say "stick and Stones" but as we have just read in Butter's blog, names and snide remarks can hurt you, do scar you.
My relationship ended with Mr Sarcasm because he was not able to counter effect the hurt with loving words, loving actions.
So all I had left was the hurting cutting remarks, till like you say I could not take it anymore. less...
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Very interesting! Well, i WOULDN'T jump straight into a relationship,until i've seen things, in the other person, that 'mirror' SOME or the things that i like in me. We ARE all differe...
Well I agree, but one does not get into a relationship in the first place, unless they have see things they like/have in the other person. xxx
Having said that, what if you have the guys who meets a girl who is very affectionate, likes to be wit more...
Quoting: Originally posted by ariesram
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Very interesting! Well, i WOULDN'T jump straight into a relationship,until i've seen things, in the other person, that 'mirror' SOME or the things that i like in me. We ARE all different,and can't expect everyone to be like ourselves.If you are happy with the qualities that are different,in the other person, to yours, then stick with them. IF, on the other hand,their ways are already starting to fcuk you off,and don't look like they will/want to change...then you have some serious thinking to do. We are only (or SHOULD be only) in a relationship because we WANT to be !!!xxx But things do change...BOY, do i know that.
Well I agree, but one does not get into a relationship in the first place, unless they have see things they like/have in the other person. xxx
Having said that, what if you have the guys who meets a girl who is very affectionate, likes to be with him all the time, do things for him...you get the idea. Now at the start this may be adorable and cute to the guy, but after a time he feels stifled, somewhat smothered. What was once cute is now too much?
Or how about the funny guy that jokes all the time, makes you laugh. After a time you get frustrated that everything is a joke and you cant talk serious issues with him.
Now should you ask your partner to change? It depends on what the issue is of course, but I dont know if its fair to ask them to do that?
Could they really change,even if they wanted to? This may be part of them just like the skin on their back. less...
I don't think you need to be mirror images, although it helps to have very similar morals/values and understanding of priorities.
My fiance and I do share basic morals/values and priorities. We also have (I think so anyway) similar levels of intelligence, but where I read books, he reads magazines and websites (he stays well informed that way), he is very outgoing where I'm a bit shy (I can fake it when I need to but...), he is very patient, where I have NO patience at all, he makes me laugh more...
I don't think you need to be mirror images, although it helps to have very similar morals/values and understanding of priorities.
My fiance and I do share basic morals/values and priorities. We also have (I think so anyway) similar levels of intelligence, but where I read books, he reads magazines and websites (he stays well informed that way), he is very outgoing where I'm a bit shy (I can fake it when I need to but...), he is very patient, where I have NO patience at all, he makes me laugh and I am sooooo not funny (or so my kids keep telling me, lol). But I think these things compliment each other and so we do well together. less...
Hello firey love goddess !( one of my many new pet names for you ; ) )
I like this topic. In the past I had a certain type of man that I wanted to see myself with. I sought out men who were really talkative and emotionally connected, very outgoing and super attentive. That would be compatible with my personality. In my opinion a man who had all of those personality traits working for him was someone that I could see myself building a substantial relationship with and future. However, after 7 more...
Hello firey love goddess !( one of my many new pet names for you ; ) )
I like this topic. In the past I had a certain type of man that I wanted to see myself with. I sought out men who were really talkative and emotionally connected, very outgoing and super attentive. That would be compatible with my personality. In my opinion a man who had all of those personality traits working for him was someone that I could see myself building a substantial relationship with and future. However, after 7 years of my life with men that fit that bill, I was left going in a different direction. So, I found out that just because a man calls every night or wants to hang out often does not necessarily mean he is wanting what I want.
So I read my horoscope about 3 months ago and it made me chuckle and ponder. It said " To show the universe you are serious, it is time to go a different direction and to get there you will have to look for the opposite of what you may have sought " So, Ozzy is talking about opposites attract, and before I would always try to fine someone who is like me. Now I think that the opposite might work better. Who knows, I might fine the love of my life in a man who is shy, not talkative and very independent ! less...
